Crone, the Witch:
The world's meanest and grumpiest witch...
...has gotten herself a job. -Yes, that's right.
But since coworkers are the worst thing she knows...
Yeah, we do not like coworkers.
...she's started her own business instead.
-And she's named the company: -Crone, the Witch Inc.
♪ At Crone, the Witch Incorporated ♪ ♪ You'll find only the wicked ♪
♪ I'm the only one here ♪ ♪ Please do feel all your fear ♪
♪ Please do not come in ♪ ♪ Staying would be a sin ♪
♪ Each customer gives me new pains ♪ ♪ They really don't give any gains ♪
♪ Business does not interest me ♪ ♪ Do not care, will not see ♪
♪ I hate when people call me up ♪ ♪ I just can't get them to shut up ♪
♪ They want my help with this or that ♪ ♪ Leave me be, or meet my bat ♪
♪ I want to be alone ♪ ♪ Happily a crone ♪
♪ At Crone, the Witch Incorporated ♪ ♪ You'll find only the wicked ♪
♪ I'm the only one here ♪ ♪ Please do feel all your fear ♪
♪ Please do not come in ♪ ♪ Staying would be a sin ♪
Every morning, the Witch unlocked the door-
-flipped the sign from "Closed" to "Open"-
-counted the change...
One, two, four...
E-eighteen, maybe.
...and finally, it was time to do the window dressing.
The only question was what to dress it with.
There! That'll do.
What? A pizza box?
Why are you displaying an old pizza box? Well, how am I supposed to know?
Indeed. And that was just the problem:
The Witch had no idea what type of business she was running.
Did she sell things, did she fix things, or did she offer services and consultations?
Yeah... What do I do here?
What am I doing here? I...
-I do whatever I want! -Anyway...
When the Witch was done dressing the window she returned to the register to sulk-
-and hope that no customers would show up, as usual.
Please, please, please, please, please,
-please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please...
...please, please, please...
No!
Not Tryggve, the Troll.
Yep! The first customer of the day was none-
-other than Tryggve, the Tempo Tapping Troll-
-who wasn't only Sweden's kindest fairytale creature-
-but also very much liked to tap a beat on everything around him.
Something that wasn't always very appreciated.
Troll Mama's head sounds kinda hollow.
Idiot.
T'at's right...
Good day! Well, I don't mean to be a bother...
Well, it's too late for that.
...but I spotted that pizza box in the display window and so I'm wondering:
Could it be that you are a pizza maker?
No. I am absolutely not. We don't make any pizzas here.
You see, I am in the middle of writing a new song...
...on my belly drum.
But since it's so empty it's coming out all pitchy.
Oh, stop banging your belly! What a noise!
What noise?
Oh, you mean this?
Yeah, but that's because it's so empty. It would be much better filled with pizza.
Yes! You already said that!
Just stop! If you stop making noise I'll get you a pizza.
No! You would do that for me?
How kind! But then you are a pizza maker after all.
Yes. Of course I'm a pizza maker but I am not kind.
I am a bitter, angry, and difficult pizza maker. What do you want on it?
Then I'd like tomato, cheese, ham, and mushrooms.
Mhm. Rust, trash, chipmunks, and rat tombs.
No, I don't think I'd like a pizza like that.
No? So now you don't want any pizza?
-Yes! But- -Great! You can come pick it up this afternoon.
-This afternoon? -Mhm.
But a pizza usually takes about ten minutes to make.
But I'm hungry now.
So? How is that my problem?
Just have a banana if you're hungry.
My pizza will be done in the afternoon.
Get out of here if that doesn't suit you.
What are you? A homeless man, troll, or whatever you are?
-That's right. -That's right.
So... I guess I'm a pizza maker...
Nice.
Crone, the Witch, had no idea what a pizza maker was like-
-or how to make pizzas.
But she was far too proud to ask me for advice.
-Did you say something? -No, no.
No. Nah...
No.
P-p-pizza...
An Italian dish...
...consisting of a dough, cheese, tomatoes, and any choice of toppings.
Whelp. Maybe one should take a shopping trip?
Alright. We're back.
So I will start by flattening...the pizza.
There. Then I'll take some tomato sauce...
Cheese...
There. And finally the choice of toppings, table tennis balls in my case.
There. Just like that.
Yeah, to be perfectly frank the pizza didn't end up great.
And when something the Witch does doesn't end up great she tends to cheat.
Hush! Don't tell them that!
Alright, let's see...
Oh! Ahh...
Here's the pizza.
But, don't you have to bake it first?
Break it? The recipe said nothing about breaking it.
No, I mean... When a pizza maker has flattened the dough and added the toppings-
-he puts the pizza in a large steel oven.
It needs to be really hot to get the crust nice and crispy.
That's what's called "baking".
A really hot oven? I don't have a really hot oven.
No, so I guess you'll have to go find one?
Exactly. It's oven finding time!
Really hot!
An oven. Where am I gonna find a really hot oven made out of steel?
Look! Could that be it?
The Witch had spotted Ragnar, the Red Raging Rider-
-who looked not only raging red that day but also quite bored.
Ragnar? You look bored. Wanna play?
Play? I am a successful knight. Knights do not play.
Besides, I have tons of important knight work to do so I don't have time for games.
Ha! You, busy?
Everybody knows that you knights are practically unemployed these days.
There are no wars to fight in and no round tables to sit around.
And all of the princesses have been rescued by now. Of course you have time to play.
I suggest Blind man's buff.
Blind man's buff? No, Witch. This is-this is inappropriate!
What!? Witch!
Try to catch me now, can man!
Woohoo!
I thought knights were expert witch catchers but you're worthless at this.
-But I can't see anything! -Worthless! Worthless!
Where are you? Get back here so I can pinch your nose!
Saying things like that to Ragnar, the Rider doesn't go unpunished!
Ragnar, the Red Raging Rider, was so angered by the Witch's teasing-
-that he outright boiled inside that armor.
Perfect!
What is going on here? I can't see a thing!
Why does it smell like pizza?
Hello?
When the Witch got back to the store she put the pizza on the counter-
-and waited for Tryggve, the Troll.
But the afternoon is several hours away.
The pizza will be cold before the Troll picks it up.
Serves him right!
Well... One could taste just a little bit of it while it's still hot.
The Troll won't notice.
Just a-just a little bit, that's all.
Pizza is so good.
It is, but...is there any left for the Troll?
Yes. Of course there is.
Who ate all of the pizza? Was it you?
No, I think you did that all by yourself.
Humbug! I only ate small pieces.
In that case you probably ate many small pieces.
The Witch became furious upon realising that she'd eaten the whole pizza.
I don't like pizza anymore.
They trick you by tasting so good that you finish them even when you're not allowed.
That's what they're like, pizzas.
So furious that she decided to disappear all of the pizzas in the world.
With spit from nightcrawlers that birds like to eat
All of the world's pizzas to darkness I yeet
The sudden disappearance of the pizzas naturally caused chaos across the city-
-and was Fairytale News' top story that day.
Welcome to Fairytale News. This is our top story tonight:
All of the pizzas in the world have disappeared. This is just terrible.
Azteca, no cheese, is the only thing that Pelle, my guinea pig, will eat.
Now he'll spend the weekend bitter, hungry, and irritable.
You see, he can't even imagine sharing my carrots.
Hold on, that's not right.
I'm the one who eats pizza and Pelle the one who eats carrots.
Then I'll be the one spending the weekend bitter, hungry, and irritable.
Over now to our reporter —Ellen, the Exasperating Elf—
-who is reporting live from the location of the suspected pizza vanisher.
-Ellen. -Thank you, Boris.
Yes, I am on location outside the premises of Crone, the Witch Inc-
-where I suspect the culprit is located.
And the culprit is none other than Crone, the Witch:
Infamous for being the most bitter and cruel of witches.
Let's head inside and see what she has to say in her defense.
Come along.
Well, go on then!
What do you want? Get out!
Hello there, old witch. I'd like to ask you a few questions.
That is out of the question because we are on vacation leave due to illness.
Get out!
Are you repsonsible for the disappearance of all pizzas?
Yes. Yes, I am. Ow!
That serves you right for disappearing all of the pizzas.
But now we're all curious: Why did you do it?
Because I'm a pizza maker who has beef with pizzas.
Uhm... I see.
Yes. Pizzas are unreliable and silly and they can get eaten at any time.
But did you think of all of the princes and princesses who...
...want to eat a pizza on their birthdays? Did you think of them?
-No, I didn't think of them. -Then think of them for a bit.
Alright, I'll think of them.
Here you go: a pizza with no cheese, dough, tomato sauce, or other toppings.
Thanks, but this won't fill me up at all.
Now I'll be forced to eat candy before dinner.
Air pizza is no good.
Fie! You really are wicked!
Thank you, that's nice of you to say.
But hey:
What if you wanted to use a pizza to do something mean, how would that go?
Something mean, using a pizza?
Here, catch this!
You're right. If there aren't any pizzas, I can't throw them-
at the heads of princes and princesses, like a frisbee, anymore.
Wretched thought!
Yes, you see it now.
No, I have to reappear all of the pizzas at once.
There you have it, dear viewers.
As you can tell, Crone, the Witch is incapable of ceasing her evil-doing-
-but at least we will all have our pizzas back.
Back to the studio.
Fish guts and tears picked from goblins when crying-
-Potions that make pizzas back here come flying
When the witch had reappeared all of the pizzas she realised that she still-
-had to make one for Tryggve, the Tapping Troll.
Uhuh. How am I supposed to solve this?
Well, do you know what you could do?
No.
You could go to a real pizzeria to buy a pizza.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
You always have such dumb ideas.
Do you know what I could do?
No.
I could go buy one from a real pizzeria.
Mm. What a great idea.
Thank you.
Said and done. The Witch headed to the nearest pizzeria to order a regular pizza.
Bake me a regular pizza right now or I will turn you into a regular frog.
Just as the Witch got back to the store, Tryggve, the Tapping Troll, showed up.
That was probaby lucky, lest the Witch eat that pizza, too.
-What do you want? -I'm picking up my pizza.
-Well, it's right there. -Right. How much is it?
What would one give for a pizza these days?
12,000 SEK.
Oh! That's pricy for a pizza.
-Mhm, but it's cheap for a car. -Yes, of course.
If you look at it that way, that if it were a car it would be cheap.
Git!
T'at's right.
That's right.
It looks like Crone, the Witch Inc. is turning a profit.
Are you kidding?
I paid the pizza maker 35 SEK for the pizza.
I charged the Troll 12,000 SEK.
That's a profit of 12,000 minus 35...
Four in reserve...
And 56 in the bank...
-That is... -11,965.
Could be.
It could be that, too.
Yes, over charging for pizza is so much fun.
Does this mean you'll continue working as a pizza maker?
Me?
No, messing about with dough, and cheese, and-
yucky [unintelligible], over my dead body.
I see, then what profession will you take up tomorrow?
I'm not working at all tomorrow.
I'll be focusing on being rude to the customers-
-and after that I'll be sulking here, by the register.
I see. What are you gonna do now?
I'm going to sulk here, by the register.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna watch the credits.
How silly! I would never watch anything so silly.
No, I'm keeping my eyes closed the whole time.
Caption and localisation by: PuffyRainbowCloud 2024-05-11