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Crone, the Witch:
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The world's meanest and grumpiest witch...
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...has gotten herself a job.
-Yes, that's right.
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But since coworkers are
the worst thing she knows...
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Yeah, we do not like coworkers.
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...she's started her own business instead.
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-And she's named the company:
-Crone, the Witch Inc.
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♪ At Crone, the Witch Incorporated ♪
♪ You'll find only the wicked ♪
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♪ I'm the only one here ♪
♪ Please do feel all your fear ♪
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♪ Please do not come in ♪
♪ Staying would be a sin ♪
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♪ Each customer gives me new pains ♪
♪ They really don't give any gains ♪
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♪ Business does not interest me ♪
♪ Do not care, will not see ♪
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♪ I hate when people call me up ♪
♪ I just can't get them to shut up ♪
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♪ They want my help with this or that ♪
♪ Leave me be, or meet my bat ♪
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♪ I want to be alone ♪
♪ Happily a crone ♪
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♪ At Crone, the Witch Incorporated ♪
♪ You'll find only the wicked ♪
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♪ I'm the only one here ♪
♪ Please do feel all your fear ♪
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♪ Please do not come in ♪
♪ Staying would be a sin ♪
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Every morning, the Witch
unlocked the door-
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-flipped the sign
from "Closed" to "Open"-
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-counted the change...
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One, two, four...
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E-eighteen, maybe.
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...and finally,
it was time to do the window dressing.
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The only question
was what to dress it with.
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There! That'll do.
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What? A pizza box?
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Why are you displaying an old pizza box?
Well, how am I supposed to know?
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Indeed. And that was just the problem:
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The Witch had no idea
what type of business she was running.
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Did she sell things, did she fix things, or
did she offer services and consultations?
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Yeah... What do I do here?
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What am I doing here? I...
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-I do whatever I want!
-Anyway...
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When the Witch was done dressing the window
she returned to the register to sulk-
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-and hope that no
customers would show up, as usual.
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Please, please,
please, please, please,
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-please, please, please, please, please,
please, please, please, please, please...
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...please, please, please...
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No!
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Not Tryggve, the Troll.
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Yep! The first customer
of the day was none-
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-other than Tryggve,
the Tempo Tapping Troll-
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-who wasn't only
Sweden's kindest fairytale creature-
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-but also very much liked
to tap a beat on everything around him.
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Something that wasn't
always very appreciated.
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Troll Mama's head sounds kinda hollow.
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Idiot.
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T'at's right...
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Good day!
Well, I don't mean to be a bother...
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Well, it's too late for that.
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...but I spotted that pizza box
in the display window and so I'm wondering:
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Could it be that you are a pizza maker?
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No. I am absolutely not.
We don't make any pizzas here.
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You see, I am in
the middle of writing a new song...
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...on my belly drum.
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But since it's so empty
it's coming out all pitchy.
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Oh, stop banging your belly! What a noise!
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What noise?
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Oh, you mean this?
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Yeah, but that's because it's so empty.
It would be much better filled with pizza.
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Yes! You already said that!
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Just stop! If you stop
making noise I'll get you a pizza.
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No! You would do that for me?
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How kind!
But then you are a pizza maker after all.
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Yes. Of course I'm a pizza maker
but I am not kind.
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I am a bitter, angry, and difficult
pizza maker. What do you want on it?
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00:05:00,803 --> 00:05:04,131
Then I'd like tomato,
cheese, ham, and mushrooms.
69
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Mhm. Rust, trash,
chipmunks, and rat tombs.
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No, I don't think
I'd like a pizza like that.
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No? So now you don't want any pizza?
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-Yes! But- -Great! You can
come pick it up this afternoon.
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-This afternoon?
-Mhm.
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But a pizza usually takes
about ten minutes to make.
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But I'm hungry now.
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So? How is that my problem?
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Just have a banana if you're hungry.
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My pizza will be done in the afternoon.
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Get out of here if that doesn't suit you.
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What are you?
A homeless man, troll, or whatever you are?
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-That's right.
-That's right.
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So...
I guess I'm a pizza maker...
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Nice.
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Crone, the Witch, had no
idea what a pizza maker was like-
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-or how to make pizzas.
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But she was far too
proud to ask me for advice.
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-Did you say something?
-No, no.
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No. Nah...
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No.
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P-p-pizza...
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An Italian dish...
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...consisting of a dough, cheese,
tomatoes, and any choice of toppings.
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Whelp. Maybe one
should take a shopping trip?
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Alright. We're back.
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So I will start by flattening...the pizza.
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There. Then I'll take some tomato sauce...
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Cheese...
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There. And finally the choice of
toppings, table tennis balls in my case.
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There. Just like that.
100
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Yeah, to be perfectly frank
the pizza didn't end up great.
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And when something the Witch does
doesn't end up great she tends to cheat.
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Hush! Don't tell them that!
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Alright, let's see...
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Oh! Ahh...
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Here's the pizza.
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But, don't you have to bake it first?
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Break it? The recipe said
nothing about breaking it.
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No, I mean... When a pizza maker has
flattened the dough and added the toppings-
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-he puts the pizza in a large steel oven.
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It needs to be really hot to
get the crust nice and crispy.
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That's what's called "baking".
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A really hot oven? I don't
have a really hot oven.
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No, so I guess you'll have to go find one?
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Exactly. It's oven finding time!
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Really hot!
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An oven. Where am I gonna find a
really hot oven made out of steel?
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Look! Could that be it?
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The Witch had spotted
Ragnar, the Red Raging Rider-
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-who looked not only raging
red that day but also quite bored.
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Ragnar? You look bored. Wanna play?
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Play? I am a successful
knight. Knights do not play.
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Besides, I have tons of important knight
work to do so I don't have time for games.
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Ha! You, busy?
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Everybody knows that you knights
are practically unemployed these days.
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There are no wars to fight in
and no round tables to sit around.
126
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And all of the princesses have been rescued
by now. Of course you have time to play.
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I suggest Blind man's buff.
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Blind man's buff? No, Witch.
This is-this is inappropriate!
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What!? Witch!
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Try to catch me now, can man!
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Woohoo!
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I thought knights were expert witch
catchers but you're worthless at this.
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-But I can't see anything!
-Worthless! Worthless!
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Where are you? Get back
here so I can pinch your nose!
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Saying things like that to Ragnar,
the Rider doesn't go unpunished!
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Ragnar, the Red Raging Rider, was
so angered by the Witch's teasing-
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-that he outright boiled inside that armor.
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Perfect!
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What is going on here? I can't see a thing!
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Why does it smell like pizza?
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Hello?
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When the Witch got back to the
store she put the pizza on the counter-
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-and waited for Tryggve, the Troll.
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But the afternoon is several hours away.
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00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,400
The pizza will be cold
before the Troll picks it up.
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Serves him right!
147
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:21,840
Well... One could taste just a
little bit of it while it's still hot.
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The Troll won't notice.
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00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,400
Just a-just a little bit, that's all.
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Pizza is so good.
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It is, but...is there
any left for the Troll?
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Yes. Of course there is.
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Who ate all of the pizza? Was it you?
154
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No, I think you did that all by yourself.
155
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Humbug! I only ate small pieces.
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In that case you probably
ate many small pieces.
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The Witch became furious upon
realising that she'd eaten the whole pizza.
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I don't like pizza anymore.
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They trick you by tasting so good that you
finish them even when you're not allowed.
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That's what they're like, pizzas.
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So furious that she decided to
disappear all of the pizzas in the world.
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With spit from
nightcrawlers that birds like to eat
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All of the world's
pizzas to darkness I yeet
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The sudden disappearance of the pizzas
naturally caused chaos across the city-
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-and was
Fairytale News' top story that day.
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00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:02,080
Welcome to Fairytale News.
This is our top story tonight:
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All of the pizzas in the world have
disappeared. This is just terrible.
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00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:09,320
Azteca, no cheese, is the only thing
that Pelle, my guinea pig, will eat.
169
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,280
Now he'll spend the weekend
bitter, hungry, and irritable.
170
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,030
You see, he can't even
imagine sharing my carrots.
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Hold on, that's not right.
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I'm the one who eats pizza and
Pelle the one who eats carrots.
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Then I'll be the one spending the
weekend bitter, hungry, and irritable.
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00:13:23,310 --> 00:13:26,380
Over now to our reporter
—Ellen, the Exasperating Elf—
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00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:30,690
-who is reporting live from the
location of the suspected pizza vanisher.
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-Ellen.
-Thank you, Boris.
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00:13:33,635 --> 00:13:38,060
Yes, I am on location outside the
premises of Crone, the Witch Inc-
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-where I suspect the culprit is located.
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00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:43,785
And the culprit is none
other than Crone, the Witch:
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Infamous for being the most
bitter and cruel of witches.
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Let's head inside and see what
she has to say in her defense.
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Come along.
183
00:13:51,910 --> 00:13:53,410
Well, go on then!
184
00:14:01,210 --> 00:14:03,559
What do you want?
Get out!
185
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,205
Hello there, old witch.
I'd like to ask you a few questions.
186
00:14:06,285 --> 00:14:10,690
That is out of the question because
we are on vacation leave due to illness.
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Get out!
188
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:14,410
Are you repsonsible for the
disappearance of all pizzas?
189
00:14:14,490 --> 00:14:18,790
Yes. Yes, I am.
Ow!
190
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:21,510
That serves you right for
disappearing all of the pizzas.
191
00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:25,289
But now we're all curious:
Why did you do it?
192
00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:29,959
Because I'm a pizza maker
who has beef with pizzas.
193
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,870
Uhm... I see.
194
00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:40,019
Yes. Pizzas are unreliable and silly
and they can get eaten at any time.
195
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:44,079
But did you think of all of the
princes and princesses who...
196
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,110
...want to eat a pizza on their birthdays?
Did you think of them?
197
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:50,570
-No, I didn't think of them.
-Then think of them for a bit.
198
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:53,280
Alright, I'll think of them.
199
00:14:56,240 --> 00:15:01,890
Here you go: a pizza with no cheese,
dough, tomato sauce, or other toppings.
200
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,210
Thanks, but this won't fill me up at all.
201
00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:08,120
Now I'll be forced to
eat candy before dinner.
202
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,489
Air pizza is no good.
203
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:17,590
Fie! You really are wicked!
204
00:15:17,670 --> 00:15:19,985
Thank you, that's nice of you to say.
205
00:15:20,065 --> 00:15:21,439
But hey:
206
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:26,399
What if you wanted to use a pizza to
do something mean, how would that go?
207
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,720
Something mean, using a pizza?
208
00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:43,830
Here, catch this!
209
00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:55,697
You're right. If there aren't
any pizzas, I can't throw them-
210
00:15:55,777 --> 00:15:58,410
at the heads of princes and
princesses, like a frisbee, anymore.
211
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,449
Wretched thought!
212
00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:02,490
Yes, you see it now.
213
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:05,290
No, I have to reappear
all of the pizzas at once.
214
00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:09,120
There you have it, dear viewers.
215
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:13,090
As you can tell, Crone, the Witch is
incapable of ceasing her evil-doing-
216
00:16:14,065 --> 00:16:16,980
-but at least we will all
have our pizzas back.
217
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,560
Back to the studio.
218
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:34,002
Fish guts and tears picked
from goblins when crying-
219
00:16:34,042 --> 00:16:37,840
-Potions that make pizzas
back here come flying
220
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:46,701
When the witch had reappeared all
of the pizzas she realised that she still-
221
00:16:46,781 --> 00:16:49,640
-had to make one for
Tryggve, the Tapping Troll.
222
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:52,460
Uhuh. How am I supposed to solve this?
223
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,061
Well, do you know what you could do?
224
00:16:55,141 --> 00:16:56,641
No.
225
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,880
You could go to a real
pizzeria to buy a pizza.
226
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,580
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
227
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:06,080
You always have such dumb ideas.
228
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,460
Do you know what I could do?
229
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:12,945
No.
230
00:17:13,025 --> 00:17:17,840
I could go buy one from a real pizzeria.
231
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,140
Mm. What a great idea.
232
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:22,720
Thank you.
233
00:17:23,190 --> 00:17:29,815
Said and done. The Witch headed to the
nearest pizzeria to order a regular pizza.
234
00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:35,981
Bake me a regular pizza right now
or I will turn you into a regular frog.
235
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:42,600
Just as the Witch got back to the store,
Tryggve, the Tapping Troll, showed up.
236
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:47,720
That was probaby lucky, lest
the Witch eat that pizza, too.
237
00:17:48,137 --> 00:17:50,750
-What do you want?
-I'm picking up my pizza.
238
00:17:50,830 --> 00:17:55,410
-Well, it's right there.
-Right. How much is it?
239
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:57,935
What would one give for a pizza these days?
240
00:17:58,015 --> 00:17:59,800
12,000 SEK.
241
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,510
Oh! That's pricy for a pizza.
242
00:18:02,590 --> 00:18:06,790
-Mhm, but it's cheap for a car.
-Yes, of course.
243
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:12,160
If you look at it that way, that if
it were a car it would be cheap.
244
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,160
Git!
245
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,740
T'at's right.
246
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:21,360
That's right.
247
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:35,265
It looks like Crone, the Witch Inc.
is turning a profit.
248
00:18:35,345 --> 00:18:37,960
Are you kidding?
249
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:42,860
I paid the pizza maker
35 SEK for the pizza.
250
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:46,520
I charged the Troll 12,000 SEK.
251
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:51,000
That's a profit of 12,000 minus 35...
252
00:18:51,404 --> 00:18:53,559
Four in reserve...
253
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,030
And 56 in the bank...
254
00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,840
-That is...
-11,965.
255
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,079
Could be.
256
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,760
It could be that, too.
257
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:10,424
Yes, over charging for
pizza is so much fun.
258
00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:13,400
Does this mean you'll continue
working as a pizza maker?
259
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:15,830
Me?
260
00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:19,260
No, messing about with
dough, and cheese, and-
261
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:21,920
yucky [unintelligible], over my dead body.
262
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,460
I see, then what profession
will you take up tomorrow?
263
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,960
I'm not working at all tomorrow.
264
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,440
I'll be focusing
on being rude to the customers-
265
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,180
-and after that I'll be
sulking here, by the register.
266
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,120
I see. What are you gonna do now?
267
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,440
I'm going to sulk here, by the register.
268
00:19:45,070 --> 00:19:46,869
What are you gonna do?
269
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:48,480
I'm gonna watch the credits.
270
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:57,799
How silly!
I would never watch anything so silly.
271
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,203
No, I'm keeping my
eyes closed the whole time.
272
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,720
Caption and localisation by:
PuffyRainbowCloud 2024-05-11